No Romance in the Honeymoon Suite
by shyskypirate
Summary: (Gou-centric) (Matsuoka fluff) The team decides to go on a last-minute outing. Upon arrival at their hotel, they find that they may have to share a room with their manager. Rin won't be happy when he finds out.
1. Chapter 1

Hey there! Thanks for dropping by. I want this to be Gou-centric, but I have no idea how it will turn out. Estimating three chapters. I hope you at least enjoy this mess.

P.S. I ship Gou with everyone.

###

"Sorry," the receptionist said, smiling apologetically, "there are no rooms available for at least a week."

"Eeehh? No rooms available for a week?" Nagisa repeated.

"It's still noon," Gou said, "we could look for another hotel."

Rei was checking his phone, furiously scrolling with his thumb. "There are no other hotels, or even inns, in this town… err… technically, this village."

"Eeeeehhhh?" Nagisa cried out again, this time with Gou. "We didn't even bring tents! Or sleeping bags!"

"Makoto, what do we do?" Haruka asked.

Makoto scratched his neck, worry etched onto his face. "Is there really no place we can stay tonight?" he asked the receptionist, who gazed upon the five sympathetically.

"Well…" she began nervously, earning the immediate attention of the teenagers in distress, "we do have a honeymoon suite…"

Makoto and Rei blushed, while hope flickered in the eyes of the other three.

"We'll take that," Haruka stated without hesitation, already impatient from having to stand this long.

"W-Wait, Haru! Gou-chan can't sleep with us!" Makoto stuttered, his face getting redder.

A flustered Rei agreed. "And d-don't people usually need… a marriage certificate or something to-"

"Oh, our hotel doesn't require a marriage liscence for just the suite," the receptionist interrupted Rei helpfully, "you only need it for the honeymoon package that consists of-"

"Ah, I see!" Rei quickly directed the attention back to himself, not wanting to hear the specifics of the honeymoon package. "It's all good then! We can ask for extra beddings, right? We'll take the suite! Haha!"

Haru looked at Makoto, expecting him to protest. Makoto looked troubled but remained silent, clearly trying to think this through.

"Don't worry, Makoto-senpai," Gou said, smiling up at him reassuringly, "I won't be uncomfortable with you guys. I'm sure it will work out. Thanks for worrying about me."

Makoto couldn't help but return her contagious smile, "I understand. Thank you for compromising with the situation." He let out a small sigh. "Though I don't think Rin will be very happy if he ever gets to hear about this."

Nagisa did a little victory bounce at Makoto's final approval, excited at the idea of sharing a room with everyone, even Gou. "We just need to hide it from Rin-chan then."

"Hide what from me?" demanded a familiar voice from behind them, making them freeze.

They turned slowly, sweat forming on their temples as their nerves started failing them. Surely enough, Rin, with his trademark shark grin, was standing a foot away from them with Sousuke, Nitori, and Momotarou, who was forever excited to see Gou.

"Onii-chan!" Gou greeted as warmly as possible, "And Sousuke-kun too! I had no idea you guys would be all the way here." She greeted Nitori and Momotaro too, flashing a smile that made Momo lose his patience. He closed the painful distance between them before either Rin or Sousuke got to speak to her.

"Gou-san! I am so happy to see you! As always, you look stunning. Your face always makes my heart ache. Yesterday, I thought about you all the-"

"Momotarou-kun!" Nitori reprimanded as he pulled him back with both hands so that Rin didn't engage Momo's neck in a choke hold in order to drag him away from his sister.

"Where are the other swimming club members, Rin-san?" Rei asked, hiding his nervousness.

"They wouldn't listen to Momo wanting to go out with the whole club as a final outing because he harassed everyone in the showers yesterday," Rin sighed, visibly disturbed by the memories. Sousuke too, seemed to have been a victim. Momo seemed to disagree.

"I didn't harass anyone!"

"So it's just us. We came for Momo," Nitori added.

"You guys are here to swim in the natural outdoor pool too?" Sousuke asked.

Makoto nodded. "We'll roam around a little too. And leave tomorrow."

"So," Rin spoke, eyes focusing on his light-haired childhood friend with mirth, "What did you want to hide from me?"

Nagisa laughed. It sounded fake even to his own ears. "Actually… Uh… Gou-chan, why don't you explain it to your beloved onii-chan?"

Gou looked at Nagisa as if he had just told her to jump off a bridge.

"Gou?" Sousuke called out, starting to worry. Nitori and Momo shared a confused look with each other before letting their eyes settle on Gou expectantly.

"You know what, I think Haru-senpai can explain this best," was her shaky response.

His previous light-heartedness gone, Rin narrowed his eyes at Haruka, silently asking for an explanation. Haru's stoic face seemed to falter a bit during his brainstorming session of 'to say or not to say". Coming to the conclusion that it was not in his interest to be on the receiving end of Rin's temper, he decided to sacrifice his best friend. "Makoto…"

By now, the other four started getting suspicious. What kind of secret was so bad that even Haruka couldn't bluntly spit out?

Makoto, who could not come up with a decent way of saying 'four of us guys will be sleeping with your adorable little sister in a hotel room specifically for couples', passed on that honour to Rei. "Rei is best at explaining things after all," he had said.

Rei gulped. All eyes were fixed on him. Even the receptionist had her attention glued to his guilt and silence.

Gou sighed. Feeling it was best she took resonsibility, she began. "The thing is-" but never got to finish as Rei decided he'd have a go at it anyway.

"WE WERE ABSOLUTELY NOT PLANNING ON ORDERING THE HONEYMOON PACKAGE! JUST THE SUITE! WHICH PROBABLY COMES WITH A KING-SIZED BED AND A BIG TRANSPARENT BATHROOM. I THINK THEY'LL PROVIDE CONDOMS TOO, BUT I PROMISE WE DON'T PLAN ON USING EVEN ONE."

Jaws remained hanging as everyone processed his words.

"...The fuck?"

###

Rei has the most embarrassing moments in the anime. It sure as hell isn't going to be any different in this fanfiction. Sorry Rei-chan.


	2. Chapter 2

Whoa! Reviews and follows and favourites! The fandom is still alive! Thank you so much.

I'm still trying to figure out how to apply the format I want. This site confuses me.

The story is turning out a little longer than expected. But I hope you like it.

###

Rei turned pale in realization of his nervous 'outburst'. He was more horror-stricken at his words than embarrassed, and there was a lot to be embarrassed about. He was just glad that there weren't many other people in the lobby.

Makoto buried his face in his palms, his ears red. Haruka had his face turned away. One would think he was exasperated with the situation by the face he was making; but upon a closer glance, anyone would be able to see the amused smirk playing on his lips. Nagisa's face was flushed partly from embarrassment; and mostly from the laughter he was desperately trying to hold in. Gou and Sousuke's expressions were blank. Rin couldn't even begin to comprehend whatever in the world was going on with the Iwatobi guys. Something strange was always going on with them; why was he consistently making attempts to rationalize their situations? Nitori and Momotarou's cheeks were ablaze simply at the word 'condoms'.

"Rei… What are you even saying?" Rin asked, hoping for any sort of enlightenment. Was this a new joke planned by Nagisa? He shook his head, deciding to not involve himself in the weirdness anymore. People were already staring. "Let's go get our rooms first. We'll talk to you guys later," he declared as he stepped away.

Panic taking over again, Rei grabbed Rin's arm without thinking and screeched, "Wait! The Honeymoon Suite!"

It was Rin's turn to be embarrassed. He frantically tried shaking off Rei's hold. "Rei, what the hell?!"

"I MEANT GO LOOK FOR ANOTHER HOTEL! LEAVE US ALONE!" Rei yelled.

"HUH?"

"R-Ryugazaki-san?" Nitori yelped when Rei pulled Rin closer.

"CAMP OUTSIDE."

"WHY?!"

"JUST DO IT."

"Uh…" Momo was lost. "I think my brain might be too stupid to understand this."

"Rei, let go of me first!"

"Makoto, do something," Haru said calmly.

"Mako-chan has crashed. He is too embarrassed to function properly. I repeat, Mako-chan has-"

"Nagisa!" Gou exclaimed.

"Gou, what's going on?" Sousuke asked, now standing beside her. He gazed down at her curiously.

"It's not a big deal," she said sheepishly, "there are no rooms available, so the guys and I are going to share a suite."

The atmosphere suddenly turned cold. At her words, that everyone managed to hear in the midst of the chaos, Rei let go of Rin and anxiously took a step backwards.

Momo was shocked. "What?! Sharing a room with Gou-san? That isn't fair! I want to share a room with Gou-san too!"

Nitori, with a look of horror, held his kohai back by the waist. "Momo-kun!"

"Sharing a room…" Rin spoke, his voice low, "with Gou..."

While everyone was too nervous to say a thing, Gou held her ground, no longer reserved about her team's decision. Though she was apprehensive about his reaction, not only because she thought her brother was a 'little' protective (something he tries to keep top secret), but also because the arrangement was indeed quite embarrassing.

Not being someone who feared her brother, she looked straight into his eyes. "Yeah," she said, "it is the only solution."

"You think I'll allow that?!" Rin exploded, no longer minding the odd looks being sent their way.

Gou was silent for a moment. Then she smiled sweetly, blinking innocently at him. "Onii-chan, could it be that you're actually worried?"

Heat rushed to Rin's face. He stuttered ridiculously, "O-O-O-O-Of course not! Why would I be worried?!"

"Ah! I thought so." She turned to face her team, smiling victoriously as she received their looks of admiration. Haru almost applauded seeing the look on Rin's face. "Let's get going then!"

"R-Rin-senpai has been defeated…" Nitori murmured, earning a nod from Momo, who was still being held onto tightly in case he ran after Gou again. Rin stood frozen in place, as if all life had left him.

"Wait," Sousuke called after the Iwatobi team, making them pause and look back. "We're going to be staying in the same room," he continued almost nonchalantly, "so wait for us while we register our names. We can split the bill evenly; it will save us a lot."

"HUH?" Nitori and Momo simultaneously echoed the others' surprise. Rin still showed no sign of moving.

Sousuke raised his eyebrow, his teal eyes asking 'isn't it obvious?' Upon the blank looks he received, he sighed. "Where do you expect us to sleep? In the sea? We're not Nanase."

Momotaro squealed as the prospect of not just being near Gou, but even sharing a room with her. Him and Gou. In a honeymoon suite. All night long!

Nitori ignored the warmth on his cheeks as he looked at Rin with concern. He still looked… soulless. The initial shock of his precious baby sister staying with four guys must have been too much for his senpai.

Sousuke addressed Rin to get him to talk to the receptionist who was an audience to the entire exchange, but he didn't budge.

"Rin," he called, "Oi, Rin." He slapped his best friend's back for some effect. "Can you hear me? Oi!"

Nagisa went up to Rin to get a better look at his face. He grinned. "Looks like Rin-chan is still processing everything."

Makoto, ever the worrywart, gently placed a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Rin, don't worry. Gou-chan is safe with everyone."

A hand grasped the collar of Makoto's shirt, bringing him face-to-face with Rin's shark teeth. "Of course Gou is safe. See if she's not!"

Makoto just laughed, albeit a little tensely. "Welcome back."

Rin _hmph_ -ed and let go. He made eye-contact with Sousuke. Sousuke knew he was being silently thanked, and he couldn't help but smirk. Rin should be more honest. But he had no right to preach about honesty when he was just as guilty of hiding his true feelings. Like hell he was going to let the Iwatobi guys spend a night with Gou with impure thoughts; not that he had pure thoughts about her himself. But, at least, he never acted inappropriately, like actually suggesting they spend a night together.

After registering their names and asking for more beddings to be delivered to their room, Rin accepted the duplicate key with a triumphant smile on his face.

"Rin-san looks happy," Rei whispered.

"We were lucky," Haruka agreed.

"You guys are too worried," Gou huffed, "Onii-chan isn't that protective."

Rei scoffed. "Sorry. We just like having our limbs attached to our bodies."

"But Gou-chan is amazing! You know exactly what buttons to push to completely manipulate Rin-chan!' Nagisa said in a hushed voice, "I was worried Rei-chan would get bitten to smithereens. After what he said…"

Sensing Rei's obvious embarrassment, Makoto spoke up, "But everything turned out fine in the end, right? I'm more surprised they're letting so many of us stay in a suite."

"It's a small hotel in a small town. They can be flexible," Nagisa said happily, "which is great. I'm so excited. A sleepover with everyone!"

###

They stood outside the door of the honeymoon suite. Rin gulped as unlocked the door with the cardkey. Sharing a room with Haru in Australia was embarrassing enough, but this was taking it further. Why did he not book a room beforehand? There was no use brooding over that now. Rin was ready for battle.

Opening the door, he let himself and everyone in.

"Rei…" Haruka said softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear, "How did you know that the bathroom was transparent here?" He was honestly curious.

"Technically," Gou said, "Only the bath and shower combo are transparent."

Gou and Haru seemed to be the only ones unaffected by the setting. Even the happy-go-lucky Nagisa and the stoic Sousuke were too taken aback by suite to say anything.

Gou set aside her overnight bag and walked over to the entrance leading to the balcony, sliding it open to allow more light in. "It's certainly… gaudy," she said, taking in the dark red covers of the king-sized bed and the red chaise lounge and couch. Did love hotels look the same as this?

There was a big TV on a wall. The wallpaper was a shiny copper colour and had small paintings hanging from it. A big white carpet lay under the black sofa and the coffee table. The bathroom big, but the shower and bath was separate and bigger. And, as mentioned before, transparent; visible from any part of the room. She knew it was what was making everyone (except Haruka) uncomfortable, and she internally smiled - as if they didn't already see each other naked in the showers. But she would have to kick everyone out when she takes one.

"All of you better freshen up and head out while the sun's still up," she chirped. She took her phone and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Rin asked.

She paused to look back at the group looking at her questioningly. She gave them a refreshing smile. "You all look great shirtless, but I don't wanna see more than that. Get changed in ten minutes." With that, she left the suite, oblivious to the blushing mess the boys had become.

Haru, too, looked away with a barely noticeable tint on his cheeks. Makoto was fidgeting while Nagisa looked lost in thought. Rei kept adjusting his glasses. Rin looked internally conflicted. Sousuke coughed, trying to mask his thoughts at what _could_ happen if Gou saw the rest of him naked. He'd probably get a boner. Hell, Momo already had a boner. Not that he could blame him.

"Hey, our manager said we have ten minutes," Nagisa reminded everyone.

"You have one amazing manager," Sousuke replied.

Nagisa enthusiastically approved, "Yeah. She's Super Manager Gou-chan!"

"She's too trusting," Rin said, his brow furrowed in annoyance as he took out clothes to change into.

"But she's smart, Rin-senpai," Nitori tried to explain, "I know you're worried abou-"

"I'm not worried!"

"It's normal to worry about your little sister, senpai."

Makoto nodded knowingly.. "Older siblings always worry about the well-being of the younger ones."

"I'm not worried about Gou because she's my sister!" Rin protested, "I'm worried about her only because she's so cu- cu… Who told you I'm worried anyway?! I'm not!"

"Gou-san is indeed very cute," Nitori said with all honesty.

"Ai-chan is right! Gou-chan is the cutest!" Nagisa said as he undressed without shame, "her sex appeal is-"

"Nagisa!" Rei interrupted, "Don't talk about her sex appeal in front of-"

"Oi," Rin's voice made the two flinch "you two! Don't talk about Gou while you're stripping! Don't even _think_ about Gou when you're stripping. Actually, don't ever even think about her."

"But I'm not even stripping!" Rei defended himself.

"Like I said-"

"Momo," Sousuke's deep voice broke their conversation, "where do you think you're going?"

Momo was almost out the door. He answered excitedly, "I'm done changing. I'm going to Gou-san!"

Rin sighed.

Haru, surprisingly, said, "Let him."

"Huh?"

"Gou is alone."

Momo cheered, "You're the best, Haruka-san!"

Haru nodded. But Makoto thoughtfully input, "Maybe Gou-chan would rather stay alone."

Haru instantly changed his mind. "Don't go, Mikoshiba."

"That was fast!" Nitori remarked.

"We should all hurry and get changed," Makoto suggested, knowing how strict Gou was when she was in manager mode.

Momotarou whined, "You guys are too slow."

Rin and Haru, who were fully clothed, stripped down to their competitive swimsuits in less than five seconds. "Who's slow?" they demanded.

"THEY GOT EVEN FASTER THAN BEFORE!" Rei exclaimed.

"What do you mean 'than before'?" Sousuke asked.

"Rin-senpai and Haruka-san competed before during the crab festival last year," Nitori helpfully provided, but it was met with more confusion from Sousuke and Momo.

"A stripping competition?!" Momo inquired.

Makoto groaned exasperatedly at the memory. "A swimming, undressing, shooting, crab-catching, fortune slip, crab-stick eating competition. We left after that. Apparently these two competed till morning but no one won." (A/N: Drama CD)

Rin disagreed, throwing his clothes onto the bed.. "I'm pretty sure I won! The crabs I caught were redder." He threw his clothes onto the bed with a _smack_.

"My crabs were bigger," Haru countered, also smacking his clothes onto the bed, but they knocked something off the bedside desk in the process. He picked up the fallen object to place it back. He almost didn't notice what it was; _almost_. His expression turned stony.

Rin's eyes bulged out.

A silence lingered over the boys until Nagisa's lips curved mischievously and formed the words, "Rei-chan, when you said that we won't be using condoms, did you mean that nobody will be having sex, or that we'd have sex without-"

"Nagisa!"

###

I was thinking the guys had gotten closer after the OVA and all, so I wanted Sousuke to, at least, be able to joke about Haru. The angst between these two since the Starting Days movie LOL.

Does Haru call Gou Kou? Because at first he respected her wish to be called Kou, but in the Drama CDs, he calls her Gou. I guess it doesn't matter since she doesn't care enough to correct anyone anymore.

I wasn't planning on adding Seijurou Mikoshihba at first (after some thought), but since _Z's Athena_ asked, I just might!


End file.
